Jeremy and Sarah’s Big Day

September 11, 2010

When I left the house to drive to the wedding, my back lawn was already wet from an autumn shower, so I popped two umbrellas in the car. But the weather held out beautifully and rain didn’t fall until the couple were taking pictures on the golf course. Again, the sun shone on the Pillings

The wedding was on the patio of the Valley Ridge Golf and Country Club. The view to the west was of the reception area, fully ready with the banquet tables set, the flowers on the tables, the white coverings on the dining chairs, the chiffon bows hanging from the back of each. The view to my left was of the rolling golf green, and specifically the area that caught my eye was a chip laden flower bed out of which was growing the Shasta daisies and the black-eyed Susans, flowers that nostalgically reminded me of the summer weddings of other cousins.

The bride walked down the isle at two pm., just as the wedding invitation said she would. The groomsmen were at the front and later Jeremy said that they did just as they were supposed to do: remind him to keep breathing, deeply. The vows had been written by Jeremy and Sarah. They had each written five words that described the other and the marriage commissioner wrote his introduction around those words. The memorable line for me was Jeremy’s when the vows were spoken, with the phrase, “when you wear this ring, remember me.”

Before the wedding began someone turned around and with a warm smile said, “Hello, Arta.” I didn’t recognize who it was, but thought to myself, “that must be one of Janet’s relatives, for there is a unmistakeable timbre to the voice. The greeting was so warm, that I feel I know that person better than I do.”

There was only one flash of a smile and then she turned so that I could only see her back, so I studied her. I was looking at the shoes – black, wedged, two inch straps around the ankles.

It was a few minutes before I got a side profile and figured out, it was Janet -- with a dramatic haircut -- sleek and shorter than I have ever seen. In fact as I have told you, I am her sister-in-law and didn’t even recognize her. I am not going to feel badly about that for I was telling this story to her brother Ralph who concurred. “I only knew it was Janet by her voice, too”, he said.

Glen was easier to recognize, his shock of grey hair now white.

Laynie was the emcee and told the guests that there would only be one rule at the celebration, one that originated from Jeremy’s childhood. As a child, taking a bathroom break was hard for him when there was so much fun going on. So she asked that when Jeremy had to slip off to the men’s room tonight, could all of the guests respect his need not to miss one bit of the festivities, stop what they are doing, have no fun, and wait for him to return.

I watched the guests dance all night. And I found my own way to the dance floor as well. I was remarking to Tim Oldham that there were no rests, literally speaking, in the music. One tune moved into another without a break.

I only knew that the song had changed by the dynamics of the rhythm, and not because there was a moment between when one song ended and the next started. “Yes,” said Tim. “We do that in the Starlight Big Band, too. Line the music up and just go from one tune to the next. No shuffling through papers to find the next tune.”

At one point I said to him, isn’t that tune “Dancing Queen” from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert?” He said that most of the tunes came from 70’s and 80’s – the days of danceable tunes, which seems to be the music chosen for all wedding dances.

“Do you play often?”, I wanted to know.

He laughed. “About six times a year. But our band practises every week to keep our skills up and have some fun.”

Now here was a wedding celebration where the guests didn’t need to be invited to get their feet moving after the meal. The floor was crowded and the face of the crowd was inter-generational: people from 79 to 3 months old were tapping their feet or rocking to the rhythms.

Zach asked his family earlier in the evening if there would be a chance on the dance floor for break dancing. “You know, the kind where everyone stands around in a circle and claps,” he said. Later in the evening I went to find out when this would happen. Apparently it had, but out in the hall where the music was more muted. I had to confirm that he had been doing this by touching his forehead, and yes, it was wet from the energy exerted in the dance I had missed.

I passed by eight-year old Gabe in the line-up at the bar. “What are you drinking tonight?”, I asked.

“Sprite,” he answered, “and I am getting a coke for someone else.”

“Are you break dancing as well tonight, with your brother?”

“I can’t,” he said, rubbing his hand smoothly down his tie and across his shirt. “I am all dressed up in my best Sunday suit.”

Dressing up was on Doral Johnson’s mind as well, but it was because he was looking at the outfit Greg Bates was wearing. “A man with a vest that matches his suit,” and even the more remarkable, that the vest still fits, no having to tug to get the buttons done up on it,” Doral commented, vestless himself.

I knew the party had been a good one when I saw a little seven year old girl, who had used up all of her energy on the dance floor, was now laid out by her parents across three chairs, now shoeless and sound asleep. Janet had more energy than that child, though I noticed she did change her shoes and her jewellery as the evening went on – in the case of the jewellery now moving to a black and white medallion around her neck, one she had glazed and fired in her own kiln this summer.

I had plenty of chances to go home earlier rather than later, but I waited for my very last possible ride – so I took one with my next-door neighbour, Miranda. Richard said in the car, “Now, I think the best part of the party was the hugs on leaving, so many embraces from so many incredible people. People I just love. Connor: Janet, Glen, Laynie, my incredible adult cousins.”

“Yes,” said Miranda. “I was touched too, for I even got a hug from David.”

“Now that is cool,” he said. “You know, you have to have had a wedding to really enjoy one, to know how much work they are and how much the couple have really planned on having you there. I had no idea before I was married.”

She nodded in agreement.