On gaining a place as part of the family

When I was young I wanted to be the person in the house who fed the dogs. We had a scrap bucket in the kitchen and when it was full, it was taken to the dog pen behind the garden, where the kennel door was opened, food and water was placed in the pen and then that job was over. My job instead was to do dishes with a partner, 3 times a day for 8 people. As soon as I got good enough to see the discrepancy in the hours one job took over the other, I was campaigning for a change of jobs. But we were a gendered house, and jobs stayed as they were.

I am living in a house with a dog, now. When I got up at 6 am I could hear her growl, three floors below me. By the time I got to the second landing, she was right by my side, going down the stairs with me, and before I got the three sets of lights in the kitchen turned on, I could hear her lapping water.

Fine, I thought, but I am not feeding her.

Kiwi enjoying her 'kiwifood

Our stainless steel fronted fridge has a new look.

Rebecca put up February’s calendar last night and on the calendar there are places each day to check if certain jobs have been done, ie medication taken.

I added the appropriate symbols on the calendar and then thought that I am always hearing people ask, “Has Kiwi been fed?” I broke a long standing rule – living with the belief that taking care of the dogs is a job for boys -- and I told Rebecca I would feed the dog and put up a “D” on the calendar.

When Alex heard me he was incensed – “Don't call her a dog!  Her name is Kiwi! She is part of the family. If you call her 'dog', then I am calling you 'human'!" 

"Alright, alright. I am going to pick my fights and this is not one of them," I thought as I changed the “D” to a “K” on the calendar.

On the flip side, being called human isn’t that bad. I have been called worse.

The point of all of this is:  when you join the ranks of those in the family so much so that all feel free to chastize you, for whatever reason, you know you are really part of that family.