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| Richard and Michael |
Early in the morning as they were returning to Calgary, an 18-wheeler came across the double line and hit them.
Richard was severely injured and taken to Kelowna in an ambulance.
I can remember denying that he might die, though I knew that was irrational.
Still, I kept myself in denial.
I needed to cling to a firm hope that he would survive.
When he recovered from his accident, I was still reeling with that awful sense of loss that comes when I acknowledge the truth of the mortality of those around me.
So, here is what I learned from that incident with Richard.
I learned that I had things left unsaid to all of my kids.
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| Betty gets a toss in the air from Richard |
And then I went to everyone else in the family, doing the same thing.
First of all, I warned them that I had words to say that might be uncomfortable to them to hear, and that there was no need to talk back to me about them. I just needed them to listen to me.
And then I told them how much I have enjoyed them over the years.
I needed to acknowledge to them, how nice it has been to have known them.
I learned that lesson from Richard many years ago.
Loss without saying kinds words would be unbearable to me.
Occasionally I refresh those conversations with them.
Why not?
Arta
What an amazing mother you continue to be! Ria
ReplyDeleteThank you Ria. Of course you know better than anyone else that you are only getting the "blog face" which I try to edit so that I will look as good as possible.
ReplyDeleteThe awful truth is that a couple of nights ago Richard came over to my house, woke me at 6 pm., and said he had brought dinner over. I told him that I had finished blogging about what I had learned from my kids. Then I had to say, "Whoops. I forgot about you. I only talked about the 7 others."
He said, "Don't worry. I don't read your blog anyway, so I won't be offended."
Oh boy. What any of them can do is just throw all of the posts into a mix and then pick them out and change names, and the whole things would probably work as well.
The bottom line is, I think I learn more from them than they learn from me. A privilege to have helped them through their childhoods, and now lots of fun for me to know them in my old age, which will be coming in two more decades, not the one that is just coming up.
I like Richard's sassy ways. Mr. Sassafrass.
ReplyDeleteIts a good thing that he survived the car crash, had he not I would never had met Michael, Alice nor Betty.
ReplyDeleteYes. And very lucky for them that he survived the car crash too.
ReplyDeleteI can't even handle Richard's sense of humour. The best. In fact, I may be biased, but I actually think each and everyone of my siblgins has an amazing sense of humour. I think it is our family's main survival technique.
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