For weeks now, I've been thinking about "putting something up on the blog." I've taken photos here and there -- reminders of things I can blog about from my life.
I used to delay writing, delay writing, delay writing -- then one day I would suddenly just post 3 of 4 blogs. That's that. I'm caught up. There you go Arta. I did it for you.
But right now, my heart just hurts so much when I think about this blog, this amazing space where we share our lives. I don't want it to make me sad. It is a repository of amazing moments from our past. A joyful place.
What makes those moments amazing and joyful? It's not that they were life changing, transformative, full of wisdom. They are mostly just the mundane, ordinary to-ing and from-ing of our living days. What makes them special is that we share them with each other.
And so, even if Arta isn't here, reading the posts I always wrote just for her, I know there are others out there, reading this blog. People I love so deeply. And even if they aren't reading, that's OK too (but not really).
Yes, I told Miranda that I post for myself. Then as a secondary I post to offer my vulnerability to her, my sisters, my brothers. Everyone else can read but I don't care about them. I post to rebuild the bridges to my loved ones because I lost some of those bridges. Turns out Arta was helping me with that and now it's my job.
ReplyDeleteXo. Except i opened this in a break during class time. Then had to close it to maintain composure... Darn your articulation of my grief and happiness!
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