2016, Long Time Ago

 I value my photos maybe above all else.  But one thing that the google-photos doesn't do is show me enough of those old moments.

I was searching the photos to compare my new purchased battery against the one that is currently in the car.  It needs a new battery I'd suspect.  In searching for 'battery' it gave me a photo of betty pulling things out of grandpa dorals desk.

But I thought, lets look around 2016 a little bit.  I haven't been there in a while.  Here is what was happening in February of 2016.

Michael and alice learned about how deep the washing machine was.  I still expected that they should help.

Michael and Alice were watching something frightening upstairs in the living room.  I think that it was the land before time.  I'm pretty certain.  They were terrified.

Alice got her photo with a deer head.

Pancakes was probably just becoming a new tradition.

Miranda was changing my alternator.  It is installed from underneath.

Betty was very small.  She was also easy to get giggling with kisses and tickles.  She was a ton of fun at 5 months old.

Michael and Alice here watching winnie the pooh and sitting on their 'cow' chairs so that they could bounce around when they needed to.

Alice being taken to a play place, and miranda doing work, and alice wanting to do work as well across from mom.

All three kids needing to touch and push and cuddle and snuggle.

A cute little photo of alice with a nice toque on .

Michael and Alice exploring how to watch tv with a different persepctive.  They held those posses 30 seconds at a time.  Then back into it again after they fell.

360 photos of artas renovation.  This was the year when the 2427 basement had a full reconstruction.  Big changes.

And a video of michael shooting bow and arrow at 5 years old.  I guess we were doing that a long time ago!

The YMCA, little squeeks, beautiful things, and millionaires.

This morning I was swimming at the YMCA.  Taking care of my body, trying to keep everything working.  Usually when you're in a lane there is two sides.  Go right side on the way down and left side on the way back.  Like a little circle.  When someone arrives often people say "you want to do sides?".  It's good for both people because then there's really no space for a third person to swim in that lane.

As I was finishing swimming I heard the young (old) 40/50/60 year old lady beside me say to someone walking up to her  "wanna SHAY-ER?"  She said it in a way that was so inviting.  Not resource controlling but more like 'fun offering'.  Like in elementary school.  I have something great, I want you to enjoy this great thing.  It really touched my heart.  I told her that as I was leaving.  "I just wanted to say, that how you said wanna share warmed my heart".  She said "really?".  Such a warm voice, and smiling crows feet, and an open manner. 

Maybe I go to the YMCA for the people... not for the exercise sometimes.  There's a story in a similar manner in which I had to go to the building manager to thank them for having one of the one-on-one swimming instructor employees at the Y being allowed to be seen.  Non-binary, one piece swimming suit.  Big flippers and swimming along with someone giving them swimming advise and technique.  I admit that as I was thanking the manager for that this employee was here and visible I ended up snotty crying a little bit.  That's a longer story though.

This morning was the first day that an ice scraper was going to be necessary.  As I was letting the car warm up a little I noticed that the roof of my car was in the most spectacular patterns.  I have no idea what the ingredients are to this recipe but the result is such a beautiful moment before leaving for work.  It's un-repeatable but certainly I can appreciate the moment.

Michael went to Branton last night from 6-8pm.  A 2 hour lesson that resulted in all of the band kids him included, receiving their trumpets, their french horns, their personal instruments.  Michael came home with Clarinet.  He wanted to show me what he'd learned last night, and then play hot cross buns for me.  It was such a sweet moment.  The music... unrecognizable.  The sweet little smile and the effort and happiness of his hard work... so beautiful and radiating out of him.

I see a crow and a magpie in the mornings quite often before leaving in the car these days.  The crow always hoping around in the lawn or on the road.  I try to take a few photos and see if I can capture them.  Neighbors with no fixed address.  I'm happy to see them.  The magpie flew right up to me this morning as I had two pieces of raisin bread in my mouth.  I could tell that he was interested but I couldn't empty my hands and pull off a piece for him before he'd flown away again.

I've been thinking about that women in the pool this morning.  I know who I want to be around.  I'd rather be around a kind soul that wants to include and share a moment together, than a millionaire who wants to play a game of golf with me on the local course.  More and more, I see that the people that I'd prefer to commit my time to aren't the ones with fantastic amounts of resources offering to play contrived games in the guise of high society with me.  They are the ones that think about the children in the back of their minds.  These people are concerned about the greater social experiment and whether we are making life more bearable for the least of us.  I propose that those who are community concerned are better people than the ones whom are only concerned about those in the country club.   And their place in that country club.

Healing broth

Miranda took that broth that I started in the crock pot this morning and she turned it into a stew with bites of meat and potatoes and celery and Guinness for dinner.  A cheese bread on the side.

I'm so tired these days. I've been taking vyvanse for almost a year now and today I forgot. Maybe I forgot for two days. The fog and the lack of frontal lobe planning is so incredibly frustrating. I cannot abide the lack of contextual planning that is available while on ADHD medication. How I got to this point in my life with no Vyvanse is a miracle. 

What a treat to have a partner that takes where you leave things and takes it further. 

I'm expecting a significantly more adult child in Michael because he's in grade seven these days. He decided on clarinet for band class. He came Tuesday night saying that he'd failed a test in band and needed to practice tonight to pass the test tomorrow. It sent me into school trauma. "quick... let's study".

A bit of Tupperware

 

I haven't had a good cry in a while.  I'm cleaning the kitchen now, 6:15am, before all have risen for the day. Dinners dishes in the sink, homework open at the table.

I've taken the leftover chicken bones and squeezed the last meat from the bones. They are in the crock pot now with an onion and a carrot coarse chopped. Id learned from a Philippines friend that leaving the onion skin on will give the broth color, and it's easier. 

This damned Tupperware was sitting in the way of me cleaning. As I started putting it together to complete it and get it put away I saw that little name.

My hips and knees hurt all of the time these days. Osteo arthritis. I'm still coaching these little twelve year olds but I can barely get across the gym at times. 

I'm not sad. I just think about you all the time. That doesn't make me cry. But this morning I thought... I sure would walk next door right now and lay down beside you, at 6:20am on a week day, with no warning.  The top blanket would be that woven heavy blanket.  I'd tell you about my hips. I'd tell you that cleaning the kitchen like a mouse in the night reminds me of you. I wouldn't need you to say anything. 

It's been thirty minutes of continuous crying now, I'm just typing out these thoughts to capture this moment. 

Oh, there was an agm last weekend. But you'd already know all about it so I wouldn't need to bring it up. You wouldn't bring it up either, because we all know what's happening there and there's nothing else to be said. I love you. 

It's now 655 and my little early riser is up. She's cold so she's still in her pajamas but has put a large pink winter coat on. I've seen a similar coat at my basketball games in my youth.