La Moufette 101

Dear Family,

Life is an adventure. I was recently enrolled in a course called La Moufette 101. Translation: I, out of desperation, took an online crash course titled An Introduction to Skunk 101. Thought I would share with you the highlights--

So, the course started shortly after the fire in our electrical box. When the electrician came to redo the electrical box, he had to disconnect the power to the house from our Hydro Quebec line. This line runs under our back porch. When I arrived home from a day of jobs, the electrician announced to me, "I have bad news." I assumed it had something to do with the wiring of the house. Wrong! He announced to me, "You have a skunk under your porch." I was relieved that the problem was merely a skunk and couldn't quite understand why the electrician looked so mortified. I just figured that the skunk had traumatized the electrician when it attempted to spray him while he was working under the porch. Indeed, I could still smell faint skunk in the basement, but luckily for the electrician the skunk had missed him and eventually wandered off. And so the story begins.

Lesson #1 from Wikepedia - "Skunks are mammals best known for their ability to secrete a liquid with a strong, foul-smelling odour."

Not long after the initial incident, Eric awoke from his sleep in the middle of the night to a foul odour. I luckily sleep like a log and didn't get to experience the strong, foul-smelling odour inside our house until the next morning.

Lesson #2 Skunks are nocturnal.

This was a useful bit of knowledge to have once I realized that we needed to help this skunk find a new home and it led to my first attempt at "relocation". We just happen to have a light under our porch, which I turned on. The internet assured me that this is one way to discourage the beasts from nesting under your house. The day after I illuminated the under porch, we smelled skunk several blocks from our house while walking school. Victory is mine. Sweet success. The skunk is now terrorizing our neighbours instead of us. "What a breeze", or so I thought.

Lesson #3 Skunks smell worse dead than alive.

About one week after my initial success. Eric re-lived his original experience but in nightmare proportions. My studies of La Moufette revealed further information about the notorious anal scent glands, which they use as a defensive weapon

"The smell aside, the spray can cause irritation and even temporary blindness and is sufficiently powerful to be detected by even an insensitive human nose anywhere up to a mile downwind."

Unfortunately for us, we were not living more than a mile downwind. We were living directly above a dead skunk. Although Eric wasn't temporarily blinded the smell was irritating enough to rouse him from his sleep once again. This was one time when I was enormously grateful for the small mercy of having an impaired sense of smell. Although the stench didn't wake me from my sleep, it was noxious enough to cause me alarm when I awoke from my sleep the next morning. (Turns out our neighbour had the same experience. He woke up and was so irritated by the smell that he left his family at home and went to work to sleep.) Some investigating on my part led to the discovery of the "nearly dead" skunk under our porch.

Lesson #4. The SPCA in Montreal is charge of relocating living skunks that have been trapped in urban locations.
I mention this because when I called the city hotline to get some help, they advised me to call the SPCA. They did however mention during my initial inquiries that if the animal were dead then it was my responsibility to put it in a garbage can and leave it on the curb for garbage pickup. FAT CHANCE. No way I was going to touch the skunk, especially given the fact that our electrician was back and he was telling me stories of rabies and other illnesses carried by skunks. "Very dangerous", he said. "Don't touch them, and make sure you sanitize the area where you found the dead animal." With this information in my head, I called the SPCA. After a brief introduction to the problem, we had the following conversation--
SPCA: "Can you see the animal?"
Me: "Yes"
SPCA: "Is it dead?"
Me: "I don't know, but it is not moving and is clearly injured."
SPCA: "We will be right there".

I figured that was completely honest. I really hadn't made a medical assessed to see if it were completely dead. It wasn't moving and being probably dead is also clearly injured. The SPCA arrived within the hour and took away my moufette. On their mandatory paperwork, of which I received an official copy, the worker wrote. La moufette DCD.

(Lesson #5 French Acronyms-- DCD stands for décédé or in English deceased)
It is always important to learn the correct french terminology when you take a course in Quebec.

Lesson #6 Skunks are crepuscular and are solitary animals when not breeding, though in the colder parts of their range they may gather in communal dens for warmth.
First Crepuscular! Wikipedia again rules as teacher.
"Crepuscular is a term used to describe some animals that are primarily active during twilight, that is at dawn and at dusk.[1] The word is derived from the Latin word crepusculum, meaning "twilight."[1] Crepuscular is thus in contrast with diurnal and nocturnal behaviour. Crepuscular animals may also be active on a bright moonlit night. Many animals that are casually described as nocturnal are in fact crepuscular."
Scratch Lesson #2 Skunks are crepuscular not nocturnal.

Next to the issue of skunks being solitary animals. With this information, I started my first lab experiment of this course called, "Close up the den". With shovel in hand, I climbed under the porch and packed dirt against my neighbours house to fill in the hole which was the obvious entrance into the den. Next, I cleaned up and sanitized the DCD area. Last part of this experiment was to check on my work the next morning.

Lesson #6 Skunks commonly dig holes. They are good diggers. During the day, they shelter in burrows that they dig with their powerful front claws.
Horror! The next morning, a brief visit to the lab revealed a new tunnel.
Skunks 1 Cathy 0

I raced back to my teacher Wikipedia only to learn that:
"Skunks are not true hibernators in the winter, but do den up for extended periods of time. They often overwinter in a huddle of multiple (as many as twelve) females. The same winter den is often repeatedly used.

I am extremely concerned at this point that this course may not end anytime soon. I can only hope we are not dealing with twelve skunks or worse yet that they decide to mate.

"Skunks typically mate in early spring. Before giving birth (usually in May), the female will excavate a den to house her litter of four to seven kits. The mother is very protective of her kits and will often spray at any sign of danger."

Not wanting this letter to end on a bad note, I share with you one positive tidbit learned from Wikipedia.

"Although skunks have excellent senses of smell and hearing—vital attributes in a crepuscular omnivore—they have poor vision. They cannot see objects more than about 3 metres (10 ft) away with any clarity, which makes them vulnerable to road traffic. They are short-lived animals: Fewer than 10% survive for longer than three years."
This brings back wonderful memories of an artist friend of Rebecca's whom we met in Detroit. His PhD work was titled "Road Kill."
Let's hope this course doesn't last three years but it definitely isn't over yet. Next lectures to include--
1. How to get the smell out of your house.
2. Measures to relocate skunks-part 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6
3. Working within the limits of the City of Montreal bylaws which prevent the trapping or killing of animals (including squirrels, skunks and raccoons).
4. Financial, Social and Emotional costs of having unexpected smelly visitors stay in your home longer than planned.

Wish me luck. Thinking of you, and learning to love the scent of Febreeze.

Catherine