Kay Crabtree was a real person.
He was also an enigma and a character of mythological proportion.
I get the two mixed up. Cindy asked me if I would write a bit about her dad. I will write some fact and some fiction. I will leave it to you to figure out which is which. I am not too sure I could help with the question of which is which myself.
On Becoming a School Teacher
I knew that Kay Crabtree lived in Lola McPhee’s boarding house when he went to school in Calgary. Lola was a an older single friend of my dad’s, perhaps she was about his age. Doral must have told me that over the years many people had boarded with Lola. In those days there was something indiscreet about men and women boarding in the same house. But the community deemed this space safe for Lola was there to oversee the establishment. Boys downstairs. Girls upstair. Lola in between. She worked at Eatons during the day and cooked for her boarders in the evenings. Doral seemed to know her well enough that when he and I were in Eatons one day, he said, “Come with me over here. I want to say hello to Lola. And I bet she will give me candy.” At the counter they chatted for a minute and on his good-byes he said “Lola, have you got any good candy today.” She pulled out a white bag from her pocket and both Doral and I took a piece of what was offered.
And that is how I learned, in my teens, that it was just fine to go to the candy counter and buy just enough chicken bones or licorice to enhance the joy of my day. If Lola could do it, so could I. I also knew Lola had cats – at once time perhaps up to 20 of them which is something that Doral, as a dog person, couldn’t understand.
On getting to know Kay’s wife
Kay married a girl who was in Laurel’s with me at church. She was eighteen when they married. As the years passed by we had a passing acquaintance and then soon a deeper one when our children were older. Marge and I got to know each other through our joint love of playing racquet ball. During that period, I learned that Marge was looking for a deeper way to do service in her community than the church was offering and so she volunteered to help new immigrants learn how to speak English. I think Marge is the one who told me that her husband liked to read about the history of the Mormon church. Really liked it!
On Stopping in to see Juanita Brooks
I don’t know how I learned that Kay had stopped in to see Juanita Brooks. She wrote an even handed history of the Mountain Meadows Massacre which implicated Mormon men in that shameful act, naming especially John D. Lee and Brigham Young was, at the very least, responsible for keeping a silence around that reprehensible act. This probably wouldn’t have been a story that was talked about from the pulpit, nor rehearsed in any Sunday School class. So when I learned that Kay, on one of his trips to Utah, had looked her address up, and then just stopped by and knocked on her door to talk about the reading he had done, and then to know she had invited him in. I don’t know who told me this. Maybe Marge. I was never brave enough to ask Kay to tell me more about the story of meeting Juanita Brooks face to face.
On Deeper Ways to Do Service
Kay had a different way of looking at things. He wasn’t happy to sit in a Ward Council and worry about how to take action when the need of a family in the ward for a new fridge, for example, became the subject of discussion for a few weeks in a row. He just wanted to go out and get the job done. Someone told me that once a family in the ward needed a significant amount of money and found that cash in their mail box, never knowing where it came from. The person who told me this said that the Crabtrees had been saving money to take their kids to Disneyland, but that trip didn’t materialize.
On going to the Crabtree’s home for a gospel discussion
Kelvin and I were invited to an evening fireside at the Crabtrees. As part of the trivia around that event, I can remember that Marge served us cranberry juice mixed with Sprite. I guess telling you this makes me feel that you will believe the rest of my stories – since I can add such trivia to my tales. Fred and Doreen Henderson were there. The talk turned to the practice of polygamy in the early church. I had just begun to take some Women’s Studies classes at the university and it was hard for me to buy into idea that women. who had other choices available, would want to practice polygamy. That night, I had the feeling that Kay was teasing me, and I didn’t want to take that bait. I could not read him well. Was he serious or was he laying out a problem, though I am sure I did not keep my mouth shut. Kay was looking at ideas that the early church embraced and now distanced themselves from. I could see why distance should be developed between those ideas and now.
On Wanting to Get a Better Grasp of the Bible
I heard that Kay and Marge had joined a community group that met during the week to study parts of the Bible. I might have envied that a bit, but my life didn’t have the extra time for that yet. I did bring home books from he library and study about Biblical texts on my own, but I had a secret desire to do as they did – find like-minded people and then chat about what was being learned.
Going to dinner at the boarding house
The Crabtrees had a cabin closer to the Shuswap Lake Narrows than the place where we lived in the summer. Sometimes the Crabtrees, the Dows, and others would come in their boats to Sicamous and then drive to a boarding house where the public could join the regulars at the boardig house on certain days of the week. Kelvin and I went along. The meal was fabulous, home-made and a chance to socialize with in the rural atmosphere of the boarding house. An evening to remember.
On Canoing up to the Crabtrees
I was looking for a way to bond with Rebecca. She was hardly in her teens yet. I told her that we would travel up to the Crabtrees by paddling the canoe up there. I had never been, had no idea of the distance, and I wasn’t really that good with the canoe. I told the Crabtrees we would be coming. When we arrived they were surprised. Probably horrified to find that we had come that way. We slept overnight and then they drove us home with their boat though I have no idea how the canoe came with us, when I think back to that event. And by the way, the trip had a negative effect. If Rebecca ever had wanted to canoe a bit, the length of the trip made any glimmer of that hope, disappear.
On Going to the Pinesdale Polygamy Colony
One Christmas season, Kelvin and I accompanied Kay and Marge to the Pinesdale Polygamy Colony. I don’t remember how long we stayed, though I do remember one of the days was a Sunday because I can remember that Sunday with great clarity. When we arrived in Pinesdale, Kay pulled groceries out of the back of his car. At least two turkeys and I can’t remember what else. “I have been here before. These people are poor,” he said. “I cannot come and eat their food without bringing a few groceries.” I have written extensively about that trip – pages of writing that I have put away and will probably never find again. Some of that story even appears in an essay Catherine did at University. I don’t need a clamour of people asking to read that. Just one or two requests would encourage me to find that.
On going to visit other polygamist groups
I don’t know when Kay was making trips to see other polygamist communities nor why he was interested in how they operated. For some reason, I was interested in what he was finding there. He told me once of a group of polygamist who were wealthy: professional people. They lived in a cul-de-sac, which gave them some privacy. The women were always dressed beautifully, and even did their housework in high heels and good clothes, always ready for the coming of the Saviour. I couldn’t see how that would work for me. I splash and stain my clothes when I am doing heavy duty house work – even light house work like loading the dishwasher can be a messy job for me. If God comes when I am doing that, he is just going to have to deal with finding me in messy clothes, I thought, while listening to Kay.
On Reading about Kay’s Life
After Kay and Marge joined the True and Living Church Community (TLC), I saw them once at Cindy’s. In the conversation, Kay told me that he had been keeping a journal of his time at the TLC I asked if I could read it. He told me no, that he was going home to Cardston and someday would start a fire on the prairies and burn it. I was aghast. I wanted to read those pages so much.
I am so sorry to have missed the funeral in Cardston. A legend. Bigger than life.
I loved Marge. I loved Kay.
Arta
He was also an enigma and a character of mythological proportion.
I get the two mixed up. Cindy asked me if I would write a bit about her dad. I will write some fact and some fiction. I will leave it to you to figure out which is which. I am not too sure I could help with the question of which is which myself.
On Becoming a School Teacher
I knew that Kay Crabtree lived in Lola McPhee’s boarding house when he went to school in Calgary. Lola was a an older single friend of my dad’s, perhaps she was about his age. Doral must have told me that over the years many people had boarded with Lola. In those days there was something indiscreet about men and women boarding in the same house. But the community deemed this space safe for Lola was there to oversee the establishment. Boys downstairs. Girls upstair. Lola in between. She worked at Eatons during the day and cooked for her boarders in the evenings. Doral seemed to know her well enough that when he and I were in Eatons one day, he said, “Come with me over here. I want to say hello to Lola. And I bet she will give me candy.” At the counter they chatted for a minute and on his good-byes he said “Lola, have you got any good candy today.” She pulled out a white bag from her pocket and both Doral and I took a piece of what was offered.
And that is how I learned, in my teens, that it was just fine to go to the candy counter and buy just enough chicken bones or licorice to enhance the joy of my day. If Lola could do it, so could I. I also knew Lola had cats – at once time perhaps up to 20 of them which is something that Doral, as a dog person, couldn’t understand.
On getting to know Kay’s wife
Kay married a girl who was in Laurel’s with me at church. She was eighteen when they married. As the years passed by we had a passing acquaintance and then soon a deeper one when our children were older. Marge and I got to know each other through our joint love of playing racquet ball. During that period, I learned that Marge was looking for a deeper way to do service in her community than the church was offering and so she volunteered to help new immigrants learn how to speak English. I think Marge is the one who told me that her husband liked to read about the history of the Mormon church. Really liked it!
 |
| I wonder where Kay's autographed copy of this book is. I wonder if he even had Brooks autograph it. |
I don’t know how I learned that Kay had stopped in to see Juanita Brooks. She wrote an even handed history of the Mountain Meadows Massacre which implicated Mormon men in that shameful act, naming especially John D. Lee and Brigham Young was, at the very least, responsible for keeping a silence around that reprehensible act. This probably wouldn’t have been a story that was talked about from the pulpit, nor rehearsed in any Sunday School class. So when I learned that Kay, on one of his trips to Utah, had looked her address up, and then just stopped by and knocked on her door to talk about the reading he had done, and then to know she had invited him in. I don’t know who told me this. Maybe Marge. I was never brave enough to ask Kay to tell me more about the story of meeting Juanita Brooks face to face.
On Deeper Ways to Do Service
Kay had a different way of looking at things. He wasn’t happy to sit in a Ward Council and worry about how to take action when the need of a family in the ward for a new fridge, for example, became the subject of discussion for a few weeks in a row. He just wanted to go out and get the job done. Someone told me that once a family in the ward needed a significant amount of money and found that cash in their mail box, never knowing where it came from. The person who told me this said that the Crabtrees had been saving money to take their kids to Disneyland, but that trip didn’t materialize.
On going to the Crabtree’s home for a gospel discussion
Kelvin and I were invited to an evening fireside at the Crabtrees. As part of the trivia around that event, I can remember that Marge served us cranberry juice mixed with Sprite. I guess telling you this makes me feel that you will believe the rest of my stories – since I can add such trivia to my tales. Fred and Doreen Henderson were there. The talk turned to the practice of polygamy in the early church. I had just begun to take some Women’s Studies classes at the university and it was hard for me to buy into idea that women. who had other choices available, would want to practice polygamy. That night, I had the feeling that Kay was teasing me, and I didn’t want to take that bait. I could not read him well. Was he serious or was he laying out a problem, though I am sure I did not keep my mouth shut. Kay was looking at ideas that the early church embraced and now distanced themselves from. I could see why distance should be developed between those ideas and now.
On Wanting to Get a Better Grasp of the Bible
I heard that Kay and Marge had joined a community group that met during the week to study parts of the Bible. I might have envied that a bit, but my life didn’t have the extra time for that yet. I did bring home books from he library and study about Biblical texts on my own, but I had a secret desire to do as they did – find like-minded people and then chat about what was being learned.
Going to dinner at the boarding house
The Crabtrees had a cabin closer to the Shuswap Lake Narrows than the place where we lived in the summer. Sometimes the Crabtrees, the Dows, and others would come in their boats to Sicamous and then drive to a boarding house where the public could join the regulars at the boardig house on certain days of the week. Kelvin and I went along. The meal was fabulous, home-made and a chance to socialize with in the rural atmosphere of the boarding house. An evening to remember.
On Canoing up to the Crabtrees
I was looking for a way to bond with Rebecca. She was hardly in her teens yet. I told her that we would travel up to the Crabtrees by paddling the canoe up there. I had never been, had no idea of the distance, and I wasn’t really that good with the canoe. I told the Crabtrees we would be coming. When we arrived they were surprised. Probably horrified to find that we had come that way. We slept overnight and then they drove us home with their boat though I have no idea how the canoe came with us, when I think back to that event. And by the way, the trip had a negative effect. If Rebecca ever had wanted to canoe a bit, the length of the trip made any glimmer of that hope, disappear.
On Going to the Pinesdale Polygamy Colony
One Christmas season, Kelvin and I accompanied Kay and Marge to the Pinesdale Polygamy Colony. I don’t remember how long we stayed, though I do remember one of the days was a Sunday because I can remember that Sunday with great clarity. When we arrived in Pinesdale, Kay pulled groceries out of the back of his car. At least two turkeys and I can’t remember what else. “I have been here before. These people are poor,” he said. “I cannot come and eat their food without bringing a few groceries.” I have written extensively about that trip – pages of writing that I have put away and will probably never find again. Some of that story even appears in an essay Catherine did at University. I don’t need a clamour of people asking to read that. Just one or two requests would encourage me to find that.
On going to visit other polygamist groups
I don’t know when Kay was making trips to see other polygamist communities nor why he was interested in how they operated. For some reason, I was interested in what he was finding there. He told me once of a group of polygamist who were wealthy: professional people. They lived in a cul-de-sac, which gave them some privacy. The women were always dressed beautifully, and even did their housework in high heels and good clothes, always ready for the coming of the Saviour. I couldn’t see how that would work for me. I splash and stain my clothes when I am doing heavy duty house work – even light house work like loading the dishwasher can be a messy job for me. If God comes when I am doing that, he is just going to have to deal with finding me in messy clothes, I thought, while listening to Kay.
On Reading about Kay’s Life
After Kay and Marge joined the True and Living Church Community (TLC), I saw them once at Cindy’s. In the conversation, Kay told me that he had been keeping a journal of his time at the TLC I asked if I could read it. He told me no, that he was going home to Cardston and someday would start a fire on the prairies and burn it. I was aghast. I wanted to read those pages so much.
I am so sorry to have missed the funeral in Cardston. A legend. Bigger than life.
I loved Marge. I loved Kay.
Arta
it is true that not many more canoe trips followed, but that trip to Crabtrees was an event of epic proportions. He lives on in my memories!
ReplyDeleteYes to lives lived of epic proportions. Cindy (Crabtree) Bowe is coming again tonight, since neither of us got all of our questions about Kaye answered. I think that can hardly happen in one more meeting, but we will try.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how far your or I could go on the water anymore, unless it would be in a small motor boat and even at that, maybe driven by someone else. We could get a small fishing boat for the summer with a motor that starts on its own. But then who would pull it out of the water at night when we would come home with our 5 pound lake trouts.
ReplyDelete