Uncle Grant - Because I Knew You

 “The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” Tom Ford

 I got a little teary today watching a video created by Jeni Whiting Brown remembering the life of Grant Johnson.  

My uncle Grant was the last surviving sibling of my father.  He was the oldest of eight children born to Miles and Bessie Johnson.  As I remember the end of this generation of relatives I am left with a profound feeling of gratitude.  We cannot but be changed by those who went before us.  The stones of our path laid down by them.  

Grant's path criss-crossed with mine at irregular but frequent intervals.  As an adult he made the effort to connect with me because we were family, and family mattered to him.  

Several interactions I had with Grant are now filling my memory.  The first as an adult is probably that of  my wedding day.  Although many of the details of that day are a blur, I'm pretty sure Grant was in the Cardston temple for the marriage ceremony.  Religious moments and connections with family were meaningful for him.  My husband Eric remembers Grant jotting down the details of his birthday and our wedding day to add to his family history records. 

Another unexpected time about 10 years ago, Grant came to visit us in Montreal.  Grant had flown out east with Arlan and Boyce.  They made a trip over to our house to catch up and chat about their adventures in Eastern Canada.

In 2015 when my own father Kelvin's health was failing and our family faced an unexpected crisis, I flew out to Alberta to help coordinate a new nursing home for my dad.  I had an unexpected but crucial connection with Grant during this visit.  On a bit of a whim, I decided to visit the nursing home where Grant was living.  It was not near my parent's home and it didn't make much sense to visit it as it was on the polar opposite end of the city.  I made the trip to the nursing home, a 45 min drive and asked the security staff if I could see Grant.  By this time, Grant had significant memory issues and was living in a secured safe unit.  The nursing staff brought me up to his floor and there he was in the hallway escorting two elderly women to lunch--one on each arm.  He was pure gentleman.  The women were all smiles and he himself exuded joy. I approached him and said, "Hi Uncle Grant.  I am your niece Catherine, Kelvin's daughter."  His reply was "wonderful, it's so nice to see you."  He then turned to his companions, in an aside and said, "This woman says she's my relative, and I don't even know her."  

He was all smiles.  I joined him for lunch and sat with him and my cousin Boyce who was also a resident at the nursing home.  After 5 minutes, I knew this was the place for my dad.  Being around Grant was easy and the environment where he was living was like nothing else I have ever seen in terms of elder care.  I couldn't think of a nicer place for my father to be than with his brother.  Within weeks, my father was moved to Seton place where he spent his last years surrounded by family.  

Eight months after that first visit at Seton place with Grant, my little family went to Calgary to visit my dad.  We shared dinner with Grant and Kelvin in the family room.  We brought homemade bread from Arta and sushi from a local restaurant.  I suspect it was the first time Grant ever tried sushi.  It wasn't his favourite meal, but he finally exclaimed, "well, I always eat what my family gives me."  We all loved his cheerful and optimistic attitude, even in the face of something foreign.

Here is the family photo we took that day with my dad and Grant.

In 2016, I flew back to Calgary when my father's health took a turn for the worse.  After a difficult week of getting him medical attention, I was getting ready to return home.  I decided to host a family meal with by then 3 siblings who were all living at Seton place.  We booked the family room and Grant, Sharon and Kelvin all sat together for dinner.  It was my privilege to attend.  Grant took Sharon by the hand when she arrived in her wheelchair and just held her hand until the dinner finally arrived.

A priceless family photo of the three of them.  I love that they joined hands and talked and laughed together.  

Connection!  I love this photo of Grant and Sharon's hands.  

What a gift it was for these three siblings to spend time together.  I will remain forever grateful for my connection to Grant Johnson.  For how he helped me find a safe and amazing place for my dad to live the last days of his life, and how he found joy in life, even when his mind became fuzzy with age. 

"Because I knew you, 

I have been changed for good."

Video by Jeni Whiting Brown
Text by Catherine Johnson