I suddenly dont' want creamsicle....

 Today:

This morning we woke up, started late, but got the crepes going in generally good time and order.  Everyone likes Rogers Icing Sugar but betty still asks for cinnamon sugar because I always try to sell it as the best flavor.

Betty keeps saying that she wants to wear the "too big" dress that miranda has made, so that is how Betty starts the day.  Twirling her dress and enjoying the long flowing dress that Miranda has made.

I didn't cut Alice's crepes into bite sized pieces like everyone else, and I got a bit of a melt down because she was using my freshly delivered box from amazon as shoes and she was doing a bang bang with her feet under the table.  After several requests to stop she was told that several requests was too many.  A frown, a thrown crepe, and into the hallway she chose in order to express her displeasure with being reprimanded.

How are we going to clean up the house I wonder to myself?  Miranda started suggesting that we do a dungeons and dragons campaign today with "coyote and crow".  The storyline being futuristic sci-fi with some grounding in indigenous culture.  Miranda found this thing a while ago and today we'll start thinking about doing it.

Ever I am trying to use rewards to encourage the hard work be completed, so I said the house had to be clean before we start doing an imaginary campaign.  1.  We'll need to buy candy.  2. I'd like to install a medicine cabinet downstairs in the bathroom.  3.  Miranda will need time to set up a story so I'll need to busy the kids.

So I took the girls with me to get groceries and candy and hardware for the medicine cabinet.  Everyone chose their candy at walmart, but still they didn't have thai red curry paste so off to superstore we go.  We found the current offering that the city has but it isn't really THE curry paste that we're used to cooking with.  Still, grab it and leave.  On the way out I'm offering "poke sticks" to the girls as a 'helping daddy' reward but they keep asking for flowers.  Gack.  Who the hell wants to waste money on stupid colored flowers.  But they can't choose the same thing, each wants something different, so we leave with both bouquets.

After superstore Betty had already asked to go to the exercise park.  Behind Louise Riley Library there is a body weight style outdoors exercise gym.  It's a silly little community installation but the kids like to play on the equipment.  So we go there for fifteen minutes.  

Then off to homedepot for some #8 washers because I'm not confident in the hardware provided in this medicine cabinet that I bought at costco.  The standard thing at homedepot is that kids get a lollipop.  They used to sell them for 99c, and now they sell them for 69c.  I'm only buying 60c worth of washers but why not.  The girls choose their lollipops and choose one for michael so that they don't get home and make him jealous.

I stopped at highland liquor store to check for a 'hawk tale' beer that we tried a few times, Miranda and I.  The girls didn't want to come in and I came out sans beer.  When the door opened Alice was bawling and betty had her arms crossed.  

Before I'd left the car, Alice was saying that she wanted michaels lollipop.  She had chosen wrong, and she wanted michaels instead.  Betty was unwilling to let Alice take michaels flavor.  I had talked through with them that everyone wasn't happy, that micheal might be willing to trade his flavor with alice, but that she should tell him what had happened and ask michael if he was willing to take the creamsicle flavor and let alice have the blackberry flavor.

While I was in looking for the fun flavor that we cant find anymore, Alice had asked Betty if Alice could hold the two lollipops in question.  Betty would not relent and let Alice hold Michaels lollipop.  Betty was furious, Alice was bawling, and I was pissed off that I'd even bought these stupid lollipops.

I said that Betty had made Alice mad, that all three us us weren't really happy right now.  I told them that I'd bought these with the intent that it might provide joy.  Nobody was happy, these lollipops would all now sit in my hands, and I wasn't sure if anyone would even get to have their lollipops. 

I told Betty that she might want to apologize for making Alice cry, but that she shouldn't apologize until she was ready, because my opinion was that the only thing worse than no apology was an insincere apology.

Alice said that if Betty didn't apologize before we got home, that Alice wouldn't accept her apology.  So then I got to tease out my feeling that a required apology wasn't acceptable and that Alice wasn't allowed to demand a timeline for an apology.

Then we all went into the house, the lollipops haven't been released from purgatory, and now we are sitting down to try this indigenous dungeons and dragons story together.

I'm exhausted, I tried to take out black beans to hydrate for tomorrows dinner.  Tonight's dinner will be lentils with indian flavor.

The medicine cabinet did get installed, but it's a little twisted... off plumb... but I'm totally exhausted, I don't care, and I wish I'd found that beer flavor at the liquor store.  I'll calm myself with sugar and lentils instead.  

I love you all.

Birthday Cinnamon Buns

 It was my birthday yesterday.  It was a good day. Axel asked me if we could make cinnamon buns together.  That made me happy. And so, what follows is a photo essay of our adventure.  None of this will be new to any of you, but I figure pictures of homemade cinnamon buns are sort of like pictures of the lake -- you can never get sick of them.

I never measure the cinnamon.

Once everything is ready to assemble, time to wake up Axel to tie the buns for me.

Here we go.

Assembly complete.  Time for the oven.

We ran out of steam so decided the last of the dough would become a round loaf of bread.

And the results... Can you smell them?

When I was growing up, we never put icing on our cinnamon buns.  Icing was only for butterhorns.  But, yesterday, we did go all decadent and make cream cheese icing as well.  Yummy.

Where is Kenneth Copeland when you need him!!

 

I got really sick Thursday morning and Miranda convinced me not to go into work. I can't get tested for covid because Alberta doesn't have any testing right now?!?  

By Saturday noon I'm feeling almost fine to get back to it.... Except my nose won't stop dripping. 

Now I take that back. I try to do some work and I get tired after bring up and around for an hour. 

Mirandas parents have some rapid tests that they bought last month and haven't used. So they brought them over to us today. I'm feeling fine, but I'm still and officially sick with the covid. 

My leprocy is official.  Where's that guy who cures the lepers. 

Apparently Kenneth can even heal me through the T.V. screen. I gotta sign up for cable.

Finding Joy -- A Giant Salad

 A new calendar year has arrived and thoughts of whether to set new goals always come with that.  I'm not really a "new year's resolution" kind of person, but have been thinking about how my relationship with food has changed recently.  I feel pretty blah about it.  Which is weird for me.  I am having a hard time putting even minimal effort into making delicious food for myself.  I have been thinking about maybe even just once a week making something interesting that I might really, really enjoy eating.

This week it was just a simple salad (mixed greens, green pepper, tomatoes, store-bought greek dressing) but the serving size was what gave me joy -- eating an Arta-sized serving in the biggest bowl I could find. Add some pan-fried tofu and a sauce I've never tried before. Again, use some pretty dishes. And a glass of red wine doesn't hurt.

I'm trying to go back to eating more plant-based proteins and thinking lentils next week.  Any suggestions out there?

ADDENDUM

This was the look on my face when I went to eat this again (but as leftovers for lunch) and I dropped the tofu on the ground and my dog ate it before I could recover it.  So just a salad for lunch today...

Naughty dog.

More Memories in Photos...Thank you to Wyora & Doral and to Arta, the Corporate memory and record keeper.

 

September at Shuswap. We have the stigma of the trains, up to 30 a day running through our property. We are so lucky!

Anywhere one stands there is a different view of the same thing, beautiful or boring, your choice.

Pathmaking! I love those directors giving advice to Gabe, Theresa and Sabrina.

Marcia's lot with all the logs rolled out.

Arta sleeping, Moiya joining her and Wyona taking the photo. Thank you to Steve and Rebecca for the loving memories we have Chez Carter.

Doral had this Christmas card printed and sent in 1928/29. He was an amazing record keeper.

Jan. 14th, 1906...Doral William Pilling

 I woke up this morning unable to sleep so I came to LarchHaven Blogspot to look up memories. So nice to see Arta's legacy, keeping her memories and love for writing alive. Arta had a very special relationship with her father, Doral. I went back to read Arta's Memory #40 about Doral.

Each of us will have very different memories of our lives with Doral. We are here on earth because he fell in love with Wyora and the story goes on. Now that I am nearing my 80th year, I know that I am more crotchety and cranky than I was a few years ago and yet I am far more accepting of peoples differences; differences that make us richer for understanding another persons point of view.

And at the end, photos of Doral's Scrapbook which he made in the 1920's, 30's, and 40's.

Eighty Memories for Eighty Years: #40 On Burying my Father

Doral William Pilling
January 6, 1906 - December 24, 1982

If the end of the life of my mother makes the list of memories I cherish, so does the end of the life of my father.

For me, that death is a list of saying good-byes.

Good-bye to the games he played with me.

Good-bye to the gallons of milk he delivered to me.

Good-bye to my model of intellectual curiosity.

Good-bye to the place where I could ask the deepest questions of my heart.
Good-bye to watching his quiet acts of generosity.
Good-bye to a gamer who played by gentleman’s rules. 

Good-bye to his story-telling.
Good-bye to his spontaneous (seemingly) practical jokes. 

Good-bye to the man whose role as a father moved into a deep friendship with me: friend to friend.       Arta        The End...as Arta would have said.

An article written on August 02, 1930. All about Doral.

OH,OH,OOOH,OH...I do not know how to insert in the right place or change the format but too old to figure out the right way. The readers job is to put it all together.    Wyona

 Next photo put here......

This is the caption on the article in two parts.

The following are close ups of the article.

1983, An Important Year

 This photo was a little gift dropped in the mail.  

I'm a bit befuddled.  These photos sort of put me into a daze today.  I'm not sure what responsibility these photos create for me.  I'm not sure how to respond.  A gift from someone that I don't know.

I don't know Barb and Pepe Cassinat.  I know the Krauses, I know the Sherwoods.  I know the Jones and the Cards and another douzen names.  I don't know Barb and Pepe.  There is a disconnect here and yet Barb has given me a powerful gift.  I don't even know how to offer a thank you.  Do I reach out through the bishop, how do I track down these people.  This meant enough to them, that an envelope was found in the house.  This meant enough to them that they drove over to 2427.  They knew that a letter with no address left in a mailbox would get to the right people.

Just one little photo.  Just a moment in time, captured on 'film' and developed at a local photography shop.  38 years this photo sat somewhere.  A moment in time.  An important event.  

She had on sweatpants and old running shoes, socks pulled up over her pant legs, and a fierce haircut.  No one beside her, eating from a paper plate.  Just barely noticing that the camera had come to capture her on the second *click*.

To the Johnson Family.  That was enough for this gift to get to the right place.

I've never seen this photo.  But I know that hair.  I know that posture.  I know that distant look, with eyes in a gaze just slightly pitched down focusing on nothing in particular.  That look means that she is in her mind.  Was she wondering about what to cook for dinner, or wondering how to collect all jackets thrown to the side as children ran to get into the game of red rover before it began.  No, she had one three year old, 9, 11, and a bunch of teenagers.  Maybe she was thinking about the next basketball game.  Maybe she was just enjoying the corn bust meal...

1983 was an important year.  I wonder what she was thinking about.

I love you.  You know who you are.  I will not figure out who Barb and Pepe are.  I hope that giving this gift was it's own reward for Barb and Pepe.

Just Sharing. Nothing Important.

This is going to be a fast run of things on my mind.  I'm doing this because of love.

 1.  Dyslexia, difficulty with learning to write....

Alice is learning multiplication.  Michael is way behind on 'writing'.  So Michael gets a 1:1 reward on electronics for writing a :1 page of writing.  I made these sheets in a 'excel' spread sheet style so that I could make squares for upper, lower, and make it look similar to how regular school paper works.

Am I doing it right?  What should we do better?  It doesn't matter!  We're trying.  There's nothing more that one can do.  Today, I compete with yesterdays Richard.  Just a little better.  I'm beating yesterdays Richard today.

How adorable is it how Alice titled her page "multiplication".  Adorable.

While working on Alices' multiplication, we were doing that at Artas basement.  There's a light that you can turn off and on with a touch switch.  So the photos are of alice getting to choose light off or on with her foot.  I wouldn't allow it, but somehow she over-ruled my rules....

2. Elk meat.  I made "Kelvin's Burgers"

I took out meat to use up.  2lbs of elk ground.  Also a 1lb of deer ground to mix in and hide the flavor but still use it up.  That pound of deer ended up being cuts so I just threw it away.

Then mixing up the burger, and planning to put it on the george forman.  What I did. 

1. Oats.

2. Eggs

3. package of Onion Soup Mix

4. Ketchup

5. Oil, olive I think

6. Worcestershire.

So I smash all of that together, ask Miranda if she has any other suggestions for what goes in a home made burger.... and then I just started burning them down on the george forman.  I've slowly but surely eaten at least three burgers.  More realistically I'll be eating 5 patties.

It might only be for me, these burgers that is.  Michael and Alice just got picked up for a sleepover with Kalina.  Kalinas sister Teresa just went to a friends house for a sleepover and Lurene asked if my two olders would be interested.  p.s. I love Lurene.  Not for this, for many specific other reasons.

I shared a bite of the elk burgers with Miranda.  I'll eat the rest probably.

3. Who recognizes this?  Who needs a pencil sharpener....

While over trying to get the cold water of Artas upstairs kitchen working.... Mati asked me if he knew what this was.  Do any of you know what this is?  How many hours did you have your hands in this area sharpening....

4. Cinderella

I took My nuclear family, (5 of us) plus Mirandas two parents to Cinderella the musical.  The parts of merit to talk about were a) the prince was acted and sung by a woman, a canadian.  D'Angelo.  I want to say Emily D'Angelo?  b) the evil step mother was played by Stephanie Blythe.  She was identified to me by Lurene before we went.  There is a bit of fat shaming humor in the show and Lurene prepared me for it.  I love her for that.  c) There was a quick moment where Cinderellas father kicked out the step mother and daughters... but he had a chair above his head and he was swinging it to scare them away.  I had to talk about that at dinner with the kids.  I needed to deconstruct how the character I loved, but that act I could not accept and it was hard for me to understand why they wrote the story like that... because it was so unacceptable for me that a man would do that.  Just interesting to talk these things through at dinner.

5.  Dad... How do you fall asleep when you can't?

Yesterday evening, I fell asleep with Alice.  She seems like the one that is in most need of help.  Her emotional regulation is a challenge and so I work more closely and thoughtfully with her these days.  While we were falling asleep she said "Dad, how do you fall asleep because sometimes I can't".  I proceeded to tell her my process that I made up when I was in grade 3.  

You see, Alice, I close my eyes, and I imagine snoopy.  He has a dog house that flies.  So I do a movie in my head.  I have him walk up to the dog house and then he begins to fly.  I get to choose where he flies to.  If I get bored of that, I bring him back and land him.  Then I walk him over to the unicycle, in my mind, and I have him do a unicycle ride around the area.

That seemed to be enough of an idea that she found a way to fall asleep.  Miranda, I, and probably all three children will always have racing minds that cannot be self contained.  Be normal brain!!  Be normal!  Why can't you just do brain things like everyone else's brains.

6. Backwards reading

I told Rebecca that I couldn't yet read backwards in this blog.  I am holding together quite well, but I'm not yet ready to wrap myself in that voice and in that love without the cracks forming and beginning to cry.  But I did look back yesterday while Alice was doing her Multiplicaion.  I read one with Mary's children doing pumpkin carving, and another where Mary had a dress on and there was some caption like... wanna dance?  So I share that photo because it made my smile.

 

That is enough sharing.  I love you.  You know who you are.