Only a post for myself.... thank you. No need to read. Scroll through.

 

Betty presented in grade 1.  All of her work was displayed with the other peers of her grade throughout the halls of Capitol Hill Elementary.  I was given a hand crafted invitation to the event.  Later on I was informed that both grandparents were also requested and would be attending.  Lastly I was informed that I should be there.

Her work was spectacular.  Her pride was infectious.  I took photos through the hallways and it was a joy to see her hard work. 

I didn't dwell on the crafted image of her as she grows old, but I was wondering if this photo seems a bit too familiar.  

When I am 100 years old...

I will be weak.  So I will ned a cane. and My hari is as White as a Snow gril.  My favaurrte things to do is drink hot Chocalate and orange gose and Lemondade.  I will be a movie Store.

I began this trail of thoughts this morning with a small video that I watched on tiktok.  It showed a huge mother elephant, spinning herself round, grabbing at the rear legs of a new born baby, and encouraging it to find those muscles so that the baby would learn to walk.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLEx9fEU/?k=1

It reminded me that I am working very hard to succeed in my career.  I am being fed respect and power and I enjoy the responsibility and the ownership over my work, but nothing in that building is more important than tugging at a little childs legs.  

I can't expect someone else to do it.  Whatever the act is, whether it is tugging on them, pulling on them, listening to them, or sitting still with them, I am the one that the first chance is given to.  It might happen somewhere, or by someone else, but it might never happen.  

I now in passing, think to myself that Michael might need more time.  I reflect and I see that with no complaints and no presentations, he might be hiding that he unknowingly needs more.

You had green glasses, your daughters wear them lovingly.  But did you have red glasses?  I love you so much.  Everyone else misses you.  But I miss you too.  Its been an hour of sobbing into my pillow and holding back the noises.  I thought that I was past it.

I passed through the photos of you, and in the long ago, you had red arms on your glasses.  I found a photo that reminds me that you were silently grabbing at my childrens legs, even 3 legs at a time...  I didn't always see it.  I see it.  I love you.

Lastly, while getting to the red glasses photo I passed through the photos of you at Seton.  I didn't know that those visits to Seton I was trying to capture photos of my children with their dying grandfather as a gift to me.  But looking back I see that you were there teaching me how to love those that are dying.  You held his hand, you read to him, you showed me how to be with you when you were dying.  You gave me so much that I didn't even know I was being given.  

I'm going to go swimming and wash some of this off.  I don't' yet know how to suck back a tear and think about something else....