the best and the most challenging

We have started a new tradition in our family. We owe thanks to Barry McDonald, Canadian educator. He is giving workshops and writing books on "raising boys to become caring, courageous, and ethical men".

Our tradition is to have a conversation in the evening where we share our best moment of the day and our most challenging moment. We each take a turn. We learn a lot about each other. We get a chance to process challenging events. We also get a chance to celebrate and remember joyful moments.

My best moment was David's greeting when I came home from work. He and I has said our goodbyes, and I had asked him to play Star Wars Lego with me when I got home. He ran to me, jumped up, and said, "Remember what we are doing next" with a great smile on his face. A great way to end the work day and transition to home.

My most challenging moment was not getting to enjoy a full hour of reading over lunch. I am reading a book by the Canadian author Gail Anderson-Dargatz called, The Cure for Death by Lightening. I elected to do other things, only getting in a few pages. It was hard because I really wanted to learn more about Beth Weeks and her life in a rurual BC community. I also really wanted to help my friend who wanted information on Autism, a topic I think about every day.

David's most challenging moment mirrored mine in that he had two things he really wanted and he had to choose between them. We discussed how hard it can be when you have two great choices, but they are mutually exclusive. We didn't have any solutions, just acknowlegement that that is a hard and very real part of life.

For David, the hard choice was whether to play with a sunstone-shaped air freshener in his hands or to have his mother sit next to him. He explained, he really wanted to play with the sunstone and he loved the smell of it. He also really wanted to sit by his mom, but understood that the smell was too intense for her and so she couldn't sit so close to it. On this occasion, he chose company over the enticing object. I had made the same choice, so I could relate. I told him that usually I try to do both things I like but if I do then I really don't get either one in the end. His father said he chooses the person over the object. David said, he would rather take my solution, even if it was the solution that didn't work. I wonder how other people handle making the hard choice between two things that are both wonderful but cannot co-occur.

Signing off so I can go read some of the novel while also living in a beautiful rural BC community.