Richard, most of the time you are a nice person, sometimes you are not....

 I warmed up the machines in the shop today.  An air hose that hangs from the roof got pulled into a machine and pulled down half of the metal air lines.  It was a fairly dangerous event while no one was in during the morning.

Of course I didn't mean to, of course I didn't like it.  I try to monitor my feelings and my reactions.  Why am I feeling this?  I texted the owners group and said "pulling it down, nobody is hurt".  Jack, who I head butt with fairly regularly walked by, didn't say anything mean when he saw me and the damage.  Ten minutes later I got a reply on the group text.  "I said 100 times close the door before spins".

I lost my mind.  

I went and yelled at him, I told him does he want to tell my bosses that?  Does he want to tell me that in front of my bosses.  I'm sure that I was using the booming voice that I don't always know that I'm choosing to use.....

I did apologize later in the day.  When he passed by me once in a while he would ignore me... or walk slowly somewhere else without looking over to me.  Finally I wrote down on a note pad "Jack I am sorry" and it made a night and day difference.

"We are the same you and I".

and then later in the day.  

"Richard, most of the time you are a nice person, sometimes you are not".

So I absolutely was the grieved person.  I absolutely was ready to quit, leave, and thought that I was being treated with unkindness.  What I take away from this experience is a bit confusing.  I worry that it's an unhuman way of acting, but when I was analyzing the situation before the apology, this is what I saw.  Someone hurt me, but they were now walking around like an injured puppy.  Did I hurt them?  Was I the cause of them not looking after me or worrying about my needs?  I needed them to not be a whole other problem that I had to deal with.  I needed to find a way to apologize to test the waters of his trouble.

It worked, and like a flower opening up, everything started getting better.  He was coming to me to talk to me.  He was mending our relationship.  I didn't have to do much, just write down on a pad of paper.... "I'm sorry Jack".

Here is a picture of a silly grade one girl to lighten the mood.

Also, I own that statement.  Richard, most of the time you are a nice person, sometimes you are not....