The Confessional

Today at the lake there were many happy times and also some hard times. Not an atypical day. In fact, a loved one recently confided in me as we drove home that  being at the lake is like being on the water in a storm. Sometimes you are at the height of wave filled with the  wonder or unexpected laughter and other times  you are at the low of the wave filled with loneliness and boredom.

For one of the lows I listened from my bedroom, trusting others to work out their own differences, and focussing on my own important work - not being activated when others are okay physically but working through their own intense feelings.

For another low I was present. During a game of Uno, an argument erupted over whether someone had slapped the table before the other had uttered the required safe word "Uno" when they were down to their last card. As the parties looked to me as arbiter, one of the claims to authority was what Grandmother Arta had taught them. I loved that earnest appeal to authority. 

My attempts to be King Solomon were unsuccessful:. (a) a quick fold the laundry break to diffuse anger, and (b) writing time to plan out the next step(s) in the day for when the Uno issue was resolved and the winner declares.

Bonnie's Individual Plan

In discussing the plan for the day, a group plan was hatched to do vlog confessionals. Me, Miranda, Michael, Alice, and Betty shared what we would say in a reality tv series fashion confessional to Arta. I told them Arta would like to hear about our real lives, the difficult ever day stuff we work through. In fact, I added as an aside to Betty who regularly reads the Sally Go Round the Sun" music book to herself, that I thought there were even songs honoring the need to complain (tattle).

I was surprised at how quickly everyone joined in, and we were able to laugh at our frustrations by simulating mock complaint videos. Our first thoughts were related to a water fight that had gone from fun to frustrating. As you read the dialogue below, imagine each of us putting our hands to the sides of our faces like horse blinders to recreate the feeling of the confessional privacy that permits a breach of social norms on "being nice" while being simultaneously aware that the private thoughts will be posted on a broad public platform. Deliciously nasty.

Michael's Plan for after Uno.

Bonnie with a whining complaint tone:  Arta, I was having a lovely conversation with Miranda when a child came in crying and ruined my adult time, just because she had an injury. So rude.

Alice shocked and laughing added: And I would say, "Grandmother, I was being helpful washing Bonnie's car with a squirt gun, and Michael and Betty made me join in a water fight with them by making it so fun with a hose and umbrellas for shields, but then Betty hit me right in the eye, and all I was trying to do was wash the car!"

Alice's Confessional Video

Betty, with mock insence added: And I would say, "Grandmother, it was Michael who hit Alice in the eye, not me!"

Betty's Confessional Video

Michael adds with laughter and feigned innocence: "I didn't mean to hit her directly in the eye. It was an accident."

Miranda agreed with us that this would be a really fun project, and had some technical suggestions about where the confessional videos would be made.

Betty's Group Plan?

I didn't get a chance to talk to Naomi about it, but Rhiannon's initial thoughts when I asked them if they would be willing to help out was, "I'm not very skilled with video editing."

I wryly replied, "I'm not looking for a skilled video editor. I'm looking for a skilled complainer."

I took the suppressed wicked laughter that escaped through wide sparkling eyes of as a "you can count on me."

Now, with the day being done and the night bringing rest, I can confirm, it was another wonderful day in the Shuswap: a water fight, fresh muffins from a neighbor, a burn pile, starching knitted hats, alone time, together time, clear cool water from Campbell's Creek, and blue skies.

BTW, Miranda resolved the Uno dispute, explaining that the Uno rule was to catch people who forgot they were down to their last card, not to be a competition around speed of access to speech as you release a card onto a discard pile. How very Bonnie Henry of her, to suggest we focus on what we can do and make space in our hearts for trusting others are doing what is right for them, focussing on principles of being calm, kind,and safe, rather than jumping on enforcement of rules, one size that doesn't fit all.

Alice's Plan