Friday, September 14, 2012

A Meeting I Almost Missed, Part II

I had so many ideas going through my head last night that I couldn’t keep them all straight when I was typing.  One of them had to do with Sue Johnson telling the women not to get their education from Chatelaine or Cosmopolitan, though she can’t resist looking at the magazines herself.  Then she went on to make fun of one of the latest ways to have a hot marriage:  do it on top of the dryer.  Mary and I could see that this is an image that a comedian could plum for a good five minute sketch.  Mary said the idea wouldn’t appeal to her after doing washing all day.  I wondered if a person could tell if the dryer was on or not.  Mary wanted to know if you had to figure out before hand, who would be folding the whites and who would be folding the coloured clothing – this may be why our shoulders were shaking with laughter for some of the time.  Mary was also saying that this is a good way to make your electricity do double-duty.

I couldn’t understand why the Relief Society Stake President  needed to cut Mary off when she tried to ask the second question of the night from the floor.  “No, we are only answering questions out of the question box, sorry Mary. The presenter will not take your question.  We have many questions here to be answered. If you want to ask it, then write it down.”

“I can’t do that," replied Mary. "This is a very complicated question.  You have only handed out small pieces of paper and I write big.”

“No, you can’t ask it then.”

By this time the audience were calling out, “Let her ask it, let her ask it.”

Even the presenter said, “I think you should let her ask it.”  So with the audience and the presenter rooting for Mary she went on to articulate the question and then she got a l-o-n-g answer, eye to eye contact for the rest of the evening, no matter where the question was from -- another perk from sitting on the front row.

I told Mary this morning that while I was watching this, I was getting nervous, fearing that the interchange might not play its way out in a kind and gentle fashion.  Lucky for us, the woman who told Mary she couldn’t ask a question from the floor is one of her dearest friends and the one who drove us to the meeting, so on the way home she said, “Mary, I hope you didn’t mind out interchange.” 

“Oh, I didn't mind. You were probably nervous about the question I might ask,” said Mary.

“Only marginally.” replied Julia, "but yes, that was there.  The real truth is that in order to have permission to have this meeting, we had to promise that all of the questions would come from the question box so that they could be vetted – no psycho questions out there.”

I was listening to them from the back seat of the car and of course, Icome at this from a different perspective.  I have been to so many lectures where there were no interesting questions, that I was thinking they should (as some do), plant an interesting question in the audience.

One woman got a question off the floor and out there within 3 seconds of the speaker saying that she was turning to the questions.  And Mary was right behind.  And her poor friend, Julia, ... trying to get back on track ... and there was a piece of her worrying about Mary’s question, for if anyone asked a difficult one, it would be her.  But she was more trying to stay true to her promise to only take questions from the question box.

This morning Mary and I were chatting ... trying to remember the questions, for they were interesting:  How do I prevent infidelity? (Answer: no one can) What happens when babies are in the mix (Oh, the question about a woman who is so tired she only has one thing on her mind – taking care of sleep deprivation – hers, said the presenter.)  How do I make sex not a chore? (if you are feeling this way, it can’t be all that good for your partner, either.)  Mary’s question?  She asked,   once you have established what each person needs (ie:  I need to feel special, I need to feel like you desire me, etc), how do you walk the fine line of responsibility?  Whose responsibility is it to fulfill those needs?  How do you avoid the danger of the woman feeling like it is her responsibility to fulfill those needs. (Answer:  everyone has to be responsible for their own feelings and actions and at the same time recognize the impact their own action have on others.)

Sad for us to be back home now, away from the fun of Relief Society, making red lentils with sweet potatoes, watching the black Russian fig and caraway seed bread rising and trying to clean off shelves and put more back on them, than came off of them.

Arta

1 comment:

  1. I like the advertisement for our public health sexual options clinic. "Some people get weird when they talk about sex. We don't!" How do people get to that point -- where they can talk about sex/intimacy without feeling and/or looking uncomfortable?

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