Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Happy Fifty-Second Anniversary

 ... Happy 52nd Wedding Anniversary, Kelvin ...

I wish I had been keeping track over the years of how we have celebrated this day.

I want to write an essay called ‘52 ways to celebrate an anniversary’.

I don’t have notes reminding myself of what I have done over the years.

I can remember some events of my second anniversary – buying a grey knit dress at Eatons -- on sale.  A surprise for Kelvin.  I remember how good I looked in it. A sheath dress with a simple knit belt. I can still see us going out to dinner in an Edmonton jazz club.  Tommy Banks was playing that night.  I remember watching the waiter bring me a shrimp cocktail appetizer, that white towel over his arm.  I was so disappointed when one of the shrimp slipped out of my fingers and fell into the linen serviette in my lap.  I had wanted that evening to be perfect -- now it was flawed by shrimp in my lap.

I can remember an anniversary much later where we took the whole family to a play – I am sure there would have been some high cultural undertones to the event. I would be wanting to celebrate our anniversary, but even more ... wanting the kids to have some exposure to the work of some playwright. 
That made the event doubly happy for me.

The 52nd Anniversary went as follows:

Part I: We saw Becoming Traviatta on Saturday.

Part II: I opened our fridge and saw so much food that there was no point in going out to buy more at a restaurant. A full fridge and a microwave. An old couple’s delight.

Part III: Continuing Conversation -- summed up this way.

Kelvin: I am confused over all of the products in the bathroom. I can’t even tell where the shampoo is anymore. How can I tell which bottle to pick up?

Arta: That can be hard. Sometimes there is shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle. Sometimes they are in separate bottles. I have to read the fine print on the front of the bottle to find out.

Kelvin: Take this bottle, for instance. What am I supposed to do with this? The front of the container says AXE: Dark Temptation. Revitalizing shower gel.  What do I do with this?

Arta: There are always more clues on the back of the bottle. Let me read them to you.

"DIRECTIONS: Squeeze out gel. Lather on your body. Rinse off. The AXE effect may result in, but is not limited to, unlimited female attention and/or late nights." (I look up after reading from the back of the bottle.) "Kelvin?   I was not making that up. I might have been. But not today. For once I was reading the text right off of the bottle."

Kelvin: What does unlimited female attention mean?

Arta: Today, you have already had it.  And, ... you are not the only man who wants to know the answer to that question. Enjoy your shower.

I would like to write the essay:-- 52 Ways to Enjoy an Anniversary.

Lived it.

Wish I had taken enough notes to write it.


1 comment:

  1. Hahahahhahahaha! Best anniversary conversation ever! Look it's more unlimited female attention, for one of your nieces. I dislike Axe commercials but the conversation that ensued is delightful!