Tuesday, March 23, 2021

I'm gonna do what I want ...

I wanted to go jump in the river, but I also
wanted to be dry on my walk home.
"I'm gonna do what I want to do."

I heard my mother say that about planning her next adventure in life. 

Her statement, a precious teaching I am trying to keep forefront in my mind.

I thought of it as I made a decision of how to treat the moss on my roof.

I am thinking about it as I choose new linoleum for my house.

I thought of it as I added extra pepper flakes to my chicken leftovers at lunch.

I thought of it as I went walking with some friends in TsĂștswecw. 

I saw two men fly fishing in hip weighted. That might be fun. Is that what I want to do? No, not today.

Down by the bay.








I thoughtof it when a different man intruded into the space Julie, Marla, and I were enjoying. 

I say intruded, but he did keep his Covid distance. 

It would have been less intrusive if he hadn't kept looking, nay staring intently at us, as he slowly disrobed. 

His steady gaze at us rather than the water or the article of clothing he was removing seemed to be a beg for a response. One was not forthcoming from any of us. 

Hee finally spoke first, trying to start a conversation about the health benefits of taking a dip into icy waters.

I had no interest in turning my focus to him, but he now had the attention of my  polite companions. 

"I'm gonna do what I want to do," thought I. Engaging with him is not it. Iweighed  options. My goal? To spit in his ego soup. 

Retaliatory. Not an example of "be kind, be calm, be safe." But it turns out I don't always want to "be good."

I saw two options. One. Ignore him, and look around to see what in that beautiful setting was nourishing to my senses. Two, strip down and jump in the water before he finished his attention grabbing performance. 

I decided to go with option one, but in another life, one I lived 30 years ago, or even 30 months ago, I know I would have taken option two.

Nice to have options.

Good to do what one wants.


3 comments:

  1. I was laughing so hard by the time I got to your words, "But it turns out I don't always want to "be good." It looks like I have raised a chip off of the old block.

    You made the best of spitting in his soup, leaving him there in the post, neither in the water, nor even close to it, but eternally "at least as long as this blog lasts", there fully clothed.

    I haven't had such a good laugh for a long time.

    And I went back to look at the selfie, somehow hoping I would see him somewhere far in the distance, maybe just a head bobbing in the water ... but no sign of him. Again, good job at just wiping him out of the picture.

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  2. I loved this story. I also would have had the reaction of beating him at his own game by stripping down and jumping in the water first. But in my mind I could do that quickly and gracefully, in reality I would probably have tripped and ended up with palms and knees full of gravel. :-)

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    Replies
    1. LOL. Yes. Just what I thought might happen to me. LOL.

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