I don’t have a name for the group I want to talk about.
My kids call it “the spin-off from ELWC”.
That is probably as good a name as any. I have tried to find a short snappy name for them. I can’t. They defy being named, at least in my imagination.
I met them in the following way. In the early 2000’s, maybe before that, when an internet group (ELWC) slowed down during Christmas, some who still wanted to chat did so, leaving the others out of the headers. Most were woman whose children were at least partially raised. The larger silent, at least silent-through-the -Christmas-break group, usually talked about Mormonism.
At Christmas the smaller group talked about our professional or our personal lives. I was fascinated by the stories of one who had been active in the Mormons for ERA movement back in May, 1980.
That group had elected Sonia Johnson as the president of their organization. I had read her book From Housewife to Heretic, so speaking with Arlene was the closest I had ever come to hearing the back stories about that Mormons for ERA movement.
I wonder now what it was that all of us in the email group had in common. I think we loved to write and read and at least, I knew I did that from my lived Mormonism. We met at a Sunstone Conference one year. Arlene went out for a smoke break. I followed her out as did others, since time together would be short, and every moment was precious. We posed for a picture. Arlene had to hand the rest of us a cigarette each. We didn’t waste them by smoking them.
Since then the Americans of our group have met again occasionally. I am the fortunate one who, when some of the families drove to Canada, they stopped in Calgary. I have seen the women for breakfast, had some come to my house, walked the streets of the Calgary Stampede with another, and had offers from them to come visit, no offer which I could accept.
I was working, still had children at home, was taking a second degree , and I was attempting to take every possible moment of my holidays at my beloved Shuswap. I could not make my way to the USA.
On the list, we have talked so long that we know each other’s children, we can name each other’s husband, sometimes husbands, we have talked about the congregations where we meet and sometimes grieve on Sunday, and we have told stories about our university days (radical Nancy was a Democrat at the BYU). I knew right away I wanted to meet Margaret. Her writing was to the point, concise, dignified, I could have read her forever.
Last Sunday one of the group died.
Arlene Burston White. (August 30, 1944 - April, 2020)
I didn’t know that I would have such a reaction to hearing of her death. For me, it was a competition between my tears and my laughter as I reviewed my on-line time with her. I have been overwhelmed with both. Nothing like alternating between bawling and laughing. I have a deep investment over the years in this email group for whom I have no name. Sometimes I want to refer to them quickly to my children, and I say, "You know, the crazy group of old women". They know who we are.
That group is making my list of eighty best memories in eighty years.
Arta
My kids call it “the spin-off from ELWC”.
That is probably as good a name as any. I have tried to find a short snappy name for them. I can’t. They defy being named, at least in my imagination.
I met them in the following way. In the early 2000’s, maybe before that, when an internet group (ELWC) slowed down during Christmas, some who still wanted to chat did so, leaving the others out of the headers. Most were woman whose children were at least partially raised. The larger silent, at least silent-through-the -Christmas-break group, usually talked about Mormonism.
That group had elected Sonia Johnson as the president of their organization. I had read her book From Housewife to Heretic, so speaking with Arlene was the closest I had ever come to hearing the back stories about that Mormons for ERA movement.
I wonder now what it was that all of us in the email group had in common. I think we loved to write and read and at least, I knew I did that from my lived Mormonism. We met at a Sunstone Conference one year. Arlene went out for a smoke break. I followed her out as did others, since time together would be short, and every moment was precious. We posed for a picture. Arlene had to hand the rest of us a cigarette each. We didn’t waste them by smoking them.
Since then the Americans of our group have met again occasionally. I am the fortunate one who, when some of the families drove to Canada, they stopped in Calgary. I have seen the women for breakfast, had some come to my house, walked the streets of the Calgary Stampede with another, and had offers from them to come visit, no offer which I could accept.
I was working, still had children at home, was taking a second degree , and I was attempting to take every possible moment of my holidays at my beloved Shuswap. I could not make my way to the USA.
On the list, we have talked so long that we know each other’s children, we can name each other’s husband, sometimes husbands, we have talked about the congregations where we meet and sometimes grieve on Sunday, and we have told stories about our university days (radical Nancy was a Democrat at the BYU). I knew right away I wanted to meet Margaret. Her writing was to the point, concise, dignified, I could have read her forever.
Last Sunday one of the group died.
Arlene Burston White. (August 30, 1944 - April, 2020)
I didn’t know that I would have such a reaction to hearing of her death. For me, it was a competition between my tears and my laughter as I reviewed my on-line time with her. I have been overwhelmed with both. Nothing like alternating between bawling and laughing. I have a deep investment over the years in this email group for whom I have no name. Sometimes I want to refer to them quickly to my children, and I say, "You know, the crazy group of old women". They know who we are.
That group is making my list of eighty best memories in eighty years.
Arta
Yes... and I have felt like I have known and loved that whole group through proxy. What a gift.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this memory with me and for talking with me on the phone about Arlene's exit from this world. A treasured friend for sure.
ReplyDeleteI think talking about Arlene was good for me. I need to confirm to other that she is gone from the group now. On this same note, I was looking at Academia and it sent me a pdf called Charity Chicks. I don't remember the next line. Something like Rural Mormon Women Talk about their Identity in Claresholm, Alberta. I read the paper. Only about 35 pages. Then I read the Bibliography. I noticed it quoted Eric's dad (George Jarvis) and then Arlene's husband. The citation was White, Jr., O.K. He was a respected scholar of Mormon studies.
ReplyDeleteI don't like goodbyes. To me, 76 year's old sound so young. I will have to think about how to say my goodbyes to Arlene. I recall reading her posts. (Is that what we called them?) To me she seemed like someone who needed the way she lived to align with how she thought. Perhaps we all are driven to do so. Any guesses as to what her Ennegram results would have been?
ReplyDeleteI could never guess anything about Arlene. She was an enigma to me. I liked the sound of her voice unless she was telling me I wasn't very smart. She was always right about that, but it took me some time to take it all in. She had lived a different life than I had, and that is what made her so interesting to me. I loved the places where we had intersections.
DeleteI think I will go and read more about Mormon Women for E.R.A. I have studied carefully a photo of Sonja Johnson in chains being escorted away from a temple. I like that she has a raised eyebrow in that photo.
ReplyDeleteRuth Knight Bailey is going to write the article you want to read, though we must give her four years or so. Arlene can't just jump to the top of the queue, though she may be able to. I have never been able to predict well on subjects like that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I have read articles about this time, Sonia Johnson's name comes up as does Hazel Rigby, whom I don't know. So interesting, to think back to those days and believe that they won't return.
Now that I think about it, Bonnie, there are many articles already written and I have read some of them. Wonderful articles about the politics of a church eschewing itself from politics but wanting to take a stance on these matters. I think Ruth tells the story that she was asked to write a letter which she couldn't write, since she was getting an education that would help her support her family, and not staying at home, which some felt was the best place for mothers to be.