I did two hours of hard writing yesterday.
Then Rebecca called and asked if I would do some note taking for her, so I slipped over into that mode for an hour via Zoom.
By the time I had done some exercises for my upper left thigh, exercises I have been resisting, I was pretty well out of the forward energy that helps me to get things done.
So I thought I would blog my writing.
But it was gone. No matter how I searched my files – I must have done a global delete on it. I didn’t shed any tears, but I did think, "I don’t think I have the energy to ever write that again. "I went to lay down.
I woke because someone was giving that big bounce to my bed, the one where they too, flop down on it.
Richard had just returned from the Shuswap and was checking in to see if I needed anything.
He reported that if a person makes no stops, and doesn’t eat at one of the side cafés or even slow down for gas, that it is possible to get from the Shuswap back home in four hours and 50 minutes, which makes the trip seem not so long.
Yes.
A shortened trip if one decides not to make the journey, part of the day’s fun. If the destination is more important than the journey, then he drove the best way.
For sure we are travelling and using the old ways of essential comfort where the only bathroom stops are the emergency ones along the road.
I think I want to say one more thing about losing certain forms of writing. The ideas in question involved taking some notes, and then the next evening I was thinking about those notes and making sense of them. The morning after that, I woke and laid in bed. I went over in my head, exactly how I would present the ideas that were on my mind. I got to the computer, had no interruptions, but still found that my fingers were starting and stopping mid-sentence, trying to get the ideas just right.
By time I got them on paper, I was having second thoughts. Who wants to read this anyway? I know to push those thoughts down. Everyone finds them hard to keep submerged. For me, if the writing never gets read, just the act of writing is a kind of self-actualization that is good for me. Thanks for reading my rant on wrecking my writing.
The Four R's.
Arta
Then Rebecca called and asked if I would do some note taking for her, so I slipped over into that mode for an hour via Zoom.
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Photo Credit: Richard Johnson
"The Long Weekend"
also, "The Not Long Enough Weekend" |
So I thought I would blog my writing.
But it was gone. No matter how I searched my files – I must have done a global delete on it. I didn’t shed any tears, but I did think, "I don’t think I have the energy to ever write that again. "I went to lay down.
I woke because someone was giving that big bounce to my bed, the one where they too, flop down on it.
Richard had just returned from the Shuswap and was checking in to see if I needed anything.
He reported that if a person makes no stops, and doesn’t eat at one of the side cafés or even slow down for gas, that it is possible to get from the Shuswap back home in four hours and 50 minutes, which makes the trip seem not so long.
Yes.
A shortened trip if one decides not to make the journey, part of the day’s fun. If the destination is more important than the journey, then he drove the best way.
For sure we are travelling and using the old ways of essential comfort where the only bathroom stops are the emergency ones along the road.
I think I want to say one more thing about losing certain forms of writing. The ideas in question involved taking some notes, and then the next evening I was thinking about those notes and making sense of them. The morning after that, I woke and laid in bed. I went over in my head, exactly how I would present the ideas that were on my mind. I got to the computer, had no interruptions, but still found that my fingers were starting and stopping mid-sentence, trying to get the ideas just right.
By time I got them on paper, I was having second thoughts. Who wants to read this anyway? I know to push those thoughts down. Everyone finds them hard to keep submerged. For me, if the writing never gets read, just the act of writing is a kind of self-actualization that is good for me. Thanks for reading my rant on wrecking my writing.
The Four R's.
Arta
I am so sorry that happened to you. losing text is a punch in the gut... self-actualized or no.
ReplyDeleteThank you for using those words. I wouldn't have thought "punch in the gut" having received so few of them in person -- probably only when someone threw a basketball too fast and it hit me in the stomach.
ReplyDeleteBut an excellent metaphor having had it happen at all.
Remember when we were in court and you were typing what the judge was telling us, and then by the same mysterious movement of fingers, you deleted the text instead of saving it. Same punch in the gut.
I am recovered from my loss. Wasn't as bad as yourjs.
Can probably go back and type it. But today the question is
1 exercise?
2 weed?
3 write?
All are good choices. I can't do them all. By 4:30 pm, I am just wiped, not matter what I have been doing. I want to have full power until midnight or 1 am, but it is just not going to happen.
Anyway ... back to losing writing. Even if it is only self-actualization, it hurts. Funny how we value that skill of getting ideas into black and white characters on a paper.